There is this guy who goes to a whorehouse and asks the madame to give him the best who can blowjob for $100. The madame tell him to wait in the room next door and remove his clothes off. So this guy goes to this room, takes his clothes off and waits. After few minutes a girl comes in and she does the best blowjob just the way he wanted and he bursts his thing out. The girl throws that thing in a glass jar. He asks the girl “If I pay you $100 more will do that again for me?” The girl says “Why not!” So she does and after his burst out she again throws that white thing in the jar. On asking that why is she keeping that jar for. She answers the guy that “I have a bet with my fellow mate that whoever will fill it first will get to drink both.” LOL!!

There is this guy who goes to a whorehouse with $500 and asks the lady on the desk to give her a hooker who can handle him. So the lady tells him to go down the hall and its the second door. The guys goes and as soon as they start there’s this huge scream. So he goes back to the lady and tell that “I said I want who can handle me!” So the lady tell him to go down the hall, down the stairs and there’s that third door.” So this guy goes and again as he starts there is a screaming. He again goes and just as he is about to complain the lady says “I know, I know you want the woman who can handle you!!” and tells him to “Go down the hall and stairs turn right to the first door. The room is in dark, no lights so just move around till you find something wet and sticky and then start.”
So this man goes and find the wet sticky thing and just as he start there is no screaming. So he thinks that now its perfect. Now, just as he starts to push in and out he says “Talk to me babe!!” There is a voice saying “Mooooooooo!!!!” LOL!!!

Once there was this guy who goes to a beach completely nude. Though it was a beach visited by many but on seeing no body their he dropped his towel, giving a damn, and lie on the ground with a newspaper on his private area just to be on safer side. A little girl comes to him and says “Sir! What’s underneath your newspaper?” The guy replies “Well! Its a birdy and dare not touch it!” So he goes to sleep. After a while he wakes up and sees himself in this hospital and his private area is paining dreadfully which he could feel horribly. The doctors asks him “How did this happen?” He tells “I remember nothing except that I was visited by a young girl.” So the cops on hearing the statement goes to this girl and asks “What have you done to that guy?” The little girl replies “I was just playing with the birdy and then he threw this white sticky liquid on me. I got angry so I twisted its neck, stamped on the eggs and fired the nest. But I did nothing to him!”

A man had this really bad accident and his penis is damaged almost ruptured to great extent. So he goes to a doctor to save his “Manhood” and tells him to do whatever he can. His doctor gives him an assurance that modern medicines would help him cure but surgery couldn’t be assured on his insurance itself as its going to be a cosmetic surgery which is expensive. He tells him that he can replace his penis and tell him the price for small penis for $4000 for medium $6000 and for large $8000. He was sure that he wants the large but doctor tells him to consult his wife first. So he makes a call to his wife and after a short while comes up to the doctor with a sad and disappointing face. Doctor on asking that “Whats the matter?” He tells “My wife said that I would rather replace my kitchen.” LOL!!

There is this guy who goes to the bartender one night. He asks the bartender for a glass of beer as usual. The bartender seeing him sounding really low asks “What’s the problem Dude! Why looking sad?” The guy answers “Well! My wife and I had a fight and she said that she will not talk to me for a month.” The bartender says “So, Whats wrong? I would have been happy If I was in your place.” The guy said in a low tone “Yeah! Yeah! Well the month is over tonight.” Lol!

There were these three best friends staying at a hotel. Three took one room and had to sleep on a same double bed. So when they woke up the next morning the first friends said “You know I had this dream that I have been given a hand job by a hot girl and I was actually feeling it.” The second friend in amazement said “I had the same dream too and I was too feeling that.” The third guy who slept in the middle of the two said “WOW!! Well I had a dream that I have been skiing hard all night and I could feel that too.” LOl!!!