There is this new teacher in a class of little ones trying to explain them that she is an American. Then she asks her students “How many of you are Americans too?” The students not really knowing what to answer but just wanted to be like their teacher so all of them waved their hands in the air except one. The teacher surprised asked the little girl “Why didn’t you raise your hand?” The girl replied ” Because I am not an American.” The teacher then asked “Then What are you?” The girl replied “I am a proud Canadian. My Mom is a Canadian and my father is a Canadian too so I am also a Canadian.” The teacher taken aback said “That’s no reason. If your dad was a moron and your mom was a moron too then you are also a moron?” The little girl with an innocent smile on her face replied “Then I’d rather be an American.” Lol!

There is this woman who’s about to have triplets. The triplets in her stomach are talking to each other.
The first baby said to others “I want to be a plumber so that I can fix so much of water in here!”
The second baby said “I want to be an electrician so that there can be some light as its too dark in here.” The third baby said “I want to be a hunter, so that when that snakes comes again I will cut its head off.” Lol!!

There is this man who goes to this restaurants where he finds beautiful waitresses working. A waitress who is quite voluptuous, wearing a miniskirt and a skinny top comes to him and asks “What can I get you sir?” The man checking her out from top to bottom, giving a good stare at her for one to two minutes tells her “I want a quickie!” The waitress looking at him with disgust goes back to the kitchen and after composing herself goes to him and says once again “What can I get you sir!” The man again replied “I want a Quickie.” This time the waitress slaps him on his face and the slap was so hard that there was an echo all around. The other man who was sitting just behind him looking at the sight started laughing hysterically saying “Its called Quiche man not a Quickie!” Lol!!

There is this very rich man, A zillionaire rather because of the unlimited wealth he possesses. Boredom is allover him. So to get rid of his boredom, he decided to do something adventurous. He calls his butler in and commands him to bring three men. After an hour or so the butler presents his master with three me. He tell the men that “I will give you whatever you will ask me from my unlimited wealth but for that, you have to swim in this swimming pool which is full of sharks, leeches, eels and other slimy insects. Come On! Who’s gonna volunteer?” Nobody came in front hearing such a dreadful thing. Suddenly a man jumps into the pool and swims as fast as he could successfully coming out safe. The rich man impressed by what he was not expecting at all asked him “You are a real brave man. Tell me what do you want and I will reward you with that.” The man answered “I want that bloody Asshole! who pushed me in.” Lol!!

“Blonde Learning To Fly! Lol!”

There is this blonde who goes to a flight training school over excited to learn to fly. All the planes were busy that day so the instructor pilot decides to teach her solo in the helicopter with the help of a radio. He before making her fly gives all the necessary information and basics. She takes off and after 1000 meters tunes the radio and talks to her instructor saying that the view from here is beautiful and she is loving the experience. After 2000 meters she again tunes and says “It’s so damn easy, I learned it in a day!” The instructor keeps on watching her and gets worried when she does not tune the radio again. After seeing her crash badly, he runs to the place where crash took place and asks “What happened, you were doing so good?” The blonde replied “I don’t know, everything was way up my expectations but then I start to feel really cold as the height increased so I just switched off the big fan and I crashed!” Lol!!

This Blonde have a doubt on her husband that he is cheating on her. So she goes to a shop to buy a hand gun. When she comes back she finds her husband in bed with a redhead. She takes the gun out and hold it against her own head. The husband seeing the blonde do that he jumps off the bed and begs her on his knees not to shoot her self. The blonde going uncontrollably wild scream at her highest pitch says “Shut up! You are next!” Lol!!