How to annoy your waiter

. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

. Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?”

. After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!”

. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage”.

. Every few seconds, yell, “More waffles, Cuomo!”

. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, “You wouldn’t charge Superman for dinner, would you?”

. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, “He’s gonna spit in the chowder!”

. Three words: eat the check.