You’re a honey. . . and you’re a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo’s “booty”.

I bought this Valentine’s card at the store, In hopes that, later, you’d be my whore.

Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn’t $250 a night.

I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

You’re a woman of style, you’re a woman of class, Especially when I’m spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so’s your ass.

I don’t wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let’s do it, I’m horny!

If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I’m fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!