Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
Real Engineers say “It’s 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 Kelvin” and all you say is “Isn’t it a nice day?”
Real Engineers wear badges so they don’t forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying “Don’t offer me a ride today. I drove my own car”.
Real Engineers’ politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
Real Engineers know the “ABC’s of Infrared” from A to B.
Real Engineers know how to take the cover off of their computer, and are not afraid to do it.
Real Engineers’ briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of “Quantum Physics”, and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
Real Engineers don’t find the above at all funny.