Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots….I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Out of my mind…Back in five minutes.

Hang up and drive.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there’s a will…I want to be on it.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don’t drink and drive…You might hit a bump and spill your drink.