College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong.

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.