Funny Cat Trick

Funny Furious Cat

Something for Hiccups

A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.

“What did you do that for?” the man asks.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore, do you?”
The man says, “No, but my wife out in the car still does!”

Rubbish Dumping

A man was hailed into court for dumping rubbish in a forbidden area.

The judge asked, “Didn’t you see the sign posted there?”

“Yes sir, I sure did,” replied the man.

“It says real plain in big letters . . .

‘FINE FOR DUMPING’!’”

HER DIARY

I asked him what was wrong - he said,
“Nothing.”
I asked him if it was my fault that he was
upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not
to worry.
On the way home, I told him that I loved
him, but he simply smiled and kept driving.

I can’t explain his behaviour; I don’t
know why he didn’t say, “I love you too.”

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost
him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me
anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV; he
seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About
10 minutes later he came to bed.

I decided that I could not take it
anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation
but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I fell asleep.

I do not know what to do. I’m almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

Released From Marriage / Jail

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee.

“What’s the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?” she asked.

“Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?” he asked.

“Yes, I do,” she replied.

“Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?”

“Yes, I do remember,” she replied.

“Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?”

“Yes, I do,” she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “You know… I would have been released today.”

Dormitory Rules

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, “How much for a season pass?”