Once a husband calls his home to talk to his wife. His maid picks up the phone. The husband says “Where’s my wife I want to speak to her.” The maid answers “Your wife is busy right now. She is in bed with some other men.” The man tells her that “There’s a gun in my cupboard. Take the gun out and shot them both!” The maid being very loyal to her master, she keeps the phone aside and tells the man to wait for 5 min. After she has done her job she picks the phone and says “I’ve killed them both, What should I do with their dead bodies?” The man tells her “Don’t worry about them, throw those bodies in the pool…and rest I will see.” The maid says “But we don’t have any pool!!” “Is this 666-8769?” said the man. Lol!!

There is this religious lady who travels a lot due to business purposes and she hates it the most and gets very nervous of flights. One day as usual when she was in a flight ready for its take off she take out her Bible. The man sitting next to him sees her praying when the flight is about to take off and sees her putting the Bible back when the take off is done. As soon as she puts it back, the man asks “Do you really believe in Bible!” The lady says “Off course Yes!!”. The man then asks “What about that whale swallowing the man thing?” “Oh! you talking about Jonah in Bible!, yes I believe in it!” replied the lady. The man asks “OK! So you really believe that he managed to survive inside the whale?” “Well thats the question I will ask God when I go to heaven.” says the lady. “What if you don’t find him anywhere in the heaven when you get in there.” asked the man. The lady replied “Hmm.. Then you ask on finding him!” Lol!

There is a dog standing outside a grocery store. A blind man walking with a help of a stick, comes looking as if he is “seeing” the dog. He has a red colored leash in his hand and he starts to swing it over the head of the dog. The owner of the grocery store seeing all this comes out and asks “What are you doing?” The blind man replies “Oh! Well nothing what a blind man can do…I was just looking around passing my time..” Lol!!

Mrs. Smith a school teacher, takes her students to the playground. While watching her students play she sees one little boy making ugly funny faces to his friends. Mrs. Smith calls the little boy and gently tells her trying to explain him affectionately that “You know when I was of your age I too liked to make faces like you but then my teacher told that if I will not stop my face will freeze like that forever!!” The little boy looking at her teacher and considering her advice seriously he said “Yeah Ma’am!! You are so right because I can see you didn’t take your teacher’s advice seriously.” Lol!

There is this man who called a librarian on phone asking “At what time will library get open?” The librarian said “For God’s sake!! You called me at the middle of the night to ask this?? It’s Nine A.M.” The man asked very disappointingly “Not before Nine A.M. Ma’am?” “No, and why do you wanna get in before that?” The man answered “I don’t wanna get in, I wanna get out of it.” Lol!

There is this family in hospital for their dear one who is seriously ill. When the doctor comes after examining him he tell his family members that “There is this brain transplantation to be done. This is a kind of expensive and a very delicate surgery and 50-50 chances are there.” All of them in a very serious note stood quite. One of the relative standing there asked “Well! What’s its cost?” The doctor told “For male brain its $5000 and for female its $200.” The family members little relieved on hearing the price were in a situation mainly the males that nor they could laugh neither they could control because of the woman present there. After few minutes of silence finally one stood up and asked “Doc! Why is there so much of variation.” The doctor smiling a little answered “Well that’s because female brains are quite used.” Lol!!