Smart Burglar

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.”

Funny Maths

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So? Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.
On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8. If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

One Year Old Father

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

No Good

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Below Sea Grade

A boy came home from school with his exam results. “What did you get?” asked his father. “My marks are under water,” said the boy. “What do you mean ‘under water’?” ” They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level!”

Crazy Friends

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. “I have an idea,” said Mike. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.” “What, do you think I’m stupid? I have an idea. I’ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.” “What, do you think I’m stupid? You’ll just turn off the flashlight when I’m halfway there.”