A man enters a hotel with his wife and were on a honeymoon on their 25th Wedding Anniversary. After
reaching their room wife getting into the mood and remembering all that love and lust on their first night asked her husband that ” what did you feel and what was going on your mind when you first saw me naked in front of you. Completely undressed. ”
The husband replied ” I felt like fucking your brains out and sucking your tits damn hard till they dry. ”
The wife hurriedly undresses herself and asks her husband ” What do you think me know? ”
The husband replied ” You Look as if I did a pretty good job. ” LOL!

There were three friends lost in a desert area. They were extremely hungry, thirsty, worn out and were looking for someone for a little bit of help. While walking, well merely dragging themselves they spotted a house. They thought of it a mirage but then realized that its in reality. One of the friend who had little strength to walk went upto the house and rung the doorbell. The first friend asked for help from the rich looking women who opened the door. The women said ” Well what will I get helping out you guys? ” the boy answered that ” We will do anything but please give us some food and water to drink.” The women replies ” Ok! I will but in return you have to do sex with me.” listening to that the first friend totally got puzzled. The women was so ugly that no one would do sex with her even if someone is dying and needs help desperately. He refuses and goes.
He tells everything to his friends. The Second fried thinking his friend to be a fool says that ” you got a nice opportunity to have sex. Only a fool would do such a mistake. He goes and the woman again comes. The woman is so horribly ugly that he refuses too.
Now the third friend was a wiser one. He knew that the only chance to save their lives is to go up to the woman and do whatever she says. So he goes upto her and finds that the woman is seriously horribly ugly. But he says yes on her asking for sex. They go to the kitchen and there were some corns lying. The women is desperate to do sex so without waiting for more she hurriedly asks him to do it. The third friend does it once. The woman likes it so much she says ” That I will give you a brand new car if you do it once more.” So he does it twice. Than the Woman again says ” That I will give you whole of my property if you it once more.” The woman had never experienced such good sex in her life. The third friend does it thrice too.
When he comes out of the house his friends came laughing and said ” you got the money but you missed three yummy and tasty buttered corns.” The third friend smiled wickedly and says that ” they were not buttered corns ”
Now you may have guessed it that they were actually the corns he used for sex with the woman and that was not butter. LOL!!

A Lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter. “Hello mate” says St. Peter, “I’m sorry, no Lawyers in heaven.” “What?” exclaims the man, astonished. “You heard, no Lawyers.”

“But, but, but, I’ve been a good man”, replies the Lawyer. “Oh really”, says St. Peter. “What have you done, then ?” “Well” said the guy, “Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 dollars to the starving children in Africa”.

“Oh” says St.Peter. “anything else?” “Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 dollars to the homeless.” “Hmmm. Anything else?” “Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 dollars to the Albanian orphans.”

“Okay”, said St. Peter, “You wait here a minute while I have a word with the boss.” Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.

He looks the bloke in the eye and says, “I’ve had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here’s your thirty dollars back, now fuck off”

“Hey dilbert, what do you call it when a guy goes from low pay to a higher
position in the buisiness? ”

A Promotion!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!:)):)):)):)):)):))

Tony slept over his friends house, his friend said “lets go to a party”
Tony:”i dont have any clothes”
Friend:”dont worry i lend you some of mine”
so tony borrowed his friends clothes and went to the party.
there was a girl who saw tony’s shoes and said “this man has a big chili”
so she went up to him and they made friends, went home and did the nasty.
when they were done the girl gave tony $20..
Tony:”whats this for?”
Girl:”go buy a pair of shoes that fit your size”….