A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.The interviewer decides to start with the basics.’So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh .. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you tell us your height, please?’ The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top ofher head. She checks the measurement and announces,’Five foot two!’ This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. ‘And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?’ The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself,before replying, ‘Mandy!’ The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, ‘Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?’ ‘Ohh that!’, replies the blonde, ‘That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….”

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.” Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Psychiatrist: “Uh … How’s that working?” Blonde: “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet.” Psychiatrist: “And why do you think that is?” Blonde: “I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, “Not only did I get the job, I’m already working on a murder case!”

Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

Q: How do you kill a blonde’s sister?

A: Tell her to go give her CPR(Cardiopulmonary resuscitation).

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a robber who escaped from jail together. The redhead hid in a dog house, the robber hid in a cat house, and the blonde hid in a potatoes sack. The cops came to the dog house and listened in. The red- head said “Woof!” The cops then moved on to the cat house. The robber said “Meow!” The cops checked the area around the potatoes sack and heard “Potatoes!” The cops chased them further and they all climbed up trees. The cops pulled out their guns and prepared. “Ready, aim…” “TORNADO!” said the red- head. The cops were startled, looked around a bit, and the red- head escaped. They continued toward the robber’s tree. “Ready, aim…” “HURRICANE!!!” yelled the robber. Again they were frightened by the outburst and looked around. The robber escaped also. They finally proceeded to the tree with the blonde. “Ready, aim…” “FIRE!!!!!” screamed the blonde.

There was a ventriloquist visiting a large town for a show. In the middle of his act, he starts with the blonde jokes. A blonde in the third row stands up to protest. “How could you be so mean!? Why do you guys always make fun of us just because of our hair color? In fact, I’m pretty smart!………” Then the ventriloquist interrupts her little fit and says “Hey, they’re just jokes.” She replies “Shut up, bigmouth. I’m talking to that stupid puppet- thing on your knee.