Two blondes decided to share a can of diet soda. One blonde opened the can, poured half the contents into her own glass, and the other half into her friend’s glass. Before throwing the can away, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side. “Wow, there’s only one calorie per can,” she commented. “Hmmmm,” replied her friend, “I wonder which glass has the calorie!”
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A blonde is walking down the street after a long day of shopping. She sees a brunette in the street jumping and yelling, “26…26…26…!” The blonde thinks this looks like a lot of fun. The blonde asks if she can join her and the brunette says yes. The blonde puts down her bags and starts to jump and yell, “26…26…26…!” The blonde is having so much fun she doesn’t notice that the brunette left and is standing on the sidewalk. Suddenly the blonde got hit by a truck. The brunette goes back in the street and start jumping and yelling, “27…27…27…!”
There once was a Blonde, Brunette, and a Red-Head who were stuck on a burning building. Some fireman came and said,”Brunette, Brunette, Jump downp down!” So she jumped but they moved the blanket they had so she fell on the ground and died. Then they said,”Red-Head, Read-Head, Jump down, Jump down!”And she said,”No I saw what you did to the Brunette!” They just said,”Thats because we don’t like Brunettes!” So she jumped but they moved the blanket they had so then she fell on the ground and died. Then they said,”Blonde, Blonde Jump down, Jump down!”And she said,”No I saw what you did to the Brunette and the Red-Head!” They just said,”Thats because we don’t like Brunettes and Red-Heads!” “Oh no you don’t!” she yelled.”I’m not that stupid,Just put the blanket on the ground and step away!”
One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. ”I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!”
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches a ‘blonde lady’ driver. “Mam, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road”? The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!” Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, “Ma’am… that’s your air freshener.”
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry! She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!” “Shut up,” she says, “You’re next.”
A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?
The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn’t hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, “What the heck’s goin’ on up here? We’re havin’ a grand time downstairs!” One of the Blondes looks up and says, “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver!”