I boop ur noes - Funny Picture

What Is Gender Of Computer? Funny Joke

As per women, computer is masculine because -
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you might have had a better model.

As per men, computer is feminine because -
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Give man a fish - Funny Joke

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

Teach him to use the Internet, and he won’t bother you for weeks!

Computer Tips 1

* Buy a Pentium 686/300, so you can reboot faster.

* 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2 (especially with the old Pentium chip).

* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

* My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.

* C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

* C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

* Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put in new ones.

Computer Tips 2

* C:\ File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

* An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

* Windows: Just another pain in the glass.

* SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

* RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

* Press to continue …Smash forehead on keyboard to continue… Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue… Just do something!!

* Help! I’ve modemed and I can’t hang up!!

* Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

* Press any key… no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

* Hit any user to continue.

* I hit the CTRL key but I’m still not in control!

* Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

* Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (V)omit

* If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

* Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.

* Real programmers don’t document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.”

Error Messages

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:

* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

*This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

*Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”

*This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world. Please log off.”

* Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

*User Error: Replace user.

*Windows VirusScan 1.0 - “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”

*If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you
and all your future creations. Doesn’t it feel nice to have
security?

*Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles
have been deleted. The police are on the way.