There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Hard Disk Women:
She remember Everything ,FOREVER

Ram Women:
She forgets about you,the moment you turn her off.

Windows Women:
Everyone know’s that she can’t do a thing right,but no one can live without her.

Excel Women:
She can do lot of thing,But you mostly use her for your basic needs.

ScreenSaver Women:
She is good for nothing but atleast she is fun.

Internet Women:
Difficult to access.

Server Women:
Always Busy When you need her.

Multimedia women:
She makes horrible things looks beatiful.

CDROM Women:
She is always faster and faster

Email Women:
Every ten things she says,eight are nonsense.

Virus Women: Also known as WIFE.When you are not expecting her ,she comes install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something.If you dont try to uninstall her,you will lose everthing.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

“I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”