Man Wants A Quickie

There is this man who goes to this restaurants where he finds beautiful waitresses working. A waitress who is quite voluptuous, wearing a miniskirt and a skinny top comes to him and asks “What can I get you sir?” The man checking her out from top to bottom, giving a good stare at her for one to two minutes tells her “I want a quickie!” The waitress looking at him with disgust goes back to the kitchen and after composing herself goes to him and says once again “What can I get you sir!” The man again replied “I want a Quickie.” This time the waitress slaps him on his face and the slap was so hard that there was an echo all around. The other man who was sitting just behind him looking at the sight started laughing hysterically saying “Its called Quiche man not a Quickie!” Lol!!

Bravery In Disguise! Read How?

There is this very rich man, A zillionaire rather because of the unlimited wealth he possesses. Boredom is allover him. So to get rid of his boredom, he decided to do something adventurous. He calls his butler in and commands him to bring three men. After an hour or so the butler presents his master with three me. He tell the men that “I will give you whatever you will ask me from my unlimited wealth but for that, you have to swim in this swimming pool which is full of sharks, leeches, eels and other slimy insects. Come On! Who’s gonna volunteer?” Nobody came in front hearing such a dreadful thing. Suddenly a man jumps into the pool and swims as fast as he could successfully coming out safe. The rich man impressed by what he was not expecting at all asked him “You are a real brave man. Tell me what do you want and I will reward you with that.” The man answered “I want that bloody Asshole! who pushed me in.” Lol!!

Scooter Racing With A Sports Car! Lol!

“Racing Scooter”
There is this young guy who has bought a new sports car for himself with fastest speed and other best features. As he is driving he comes across the traffic lights. He waits for the lights to go green when he sees a man on a scooter on his right side admiring his sports car. The young man decides to show off a little. So as soon as the lights go green he races his car and leaves fastest as he good throwing all the dust on the man on the scooter. After few minutes or so he notices the same man on scooter is catching up with him. So he races his car a little. Again after few minutes he sees the same man again catching up with him, so he races even more at about 100 mph he again sees him catching up. So he decides to stop. As soon as he applied the brakes, the scooter came crashing and it hits the back, scratching it up to the side mirror. The young man quickly comes out of his car and sees if the man on scooter is alright. He goes and checks him and asks “How could you catch up with my sports car every time that too driving this stupid scooter?” The man answers in a feeble voice merely able to stand up and says “Idiot! My suspenders stuck in your side mirror!!!” Lol!!

Interviewer With No Ears! Lol!

There is this man who is taking an interview. The first man walks in and the interviewer asks “Tell me! What the first thing you notice when you enter this room?” The man replied “My God! You don’t have any ears!!” The interviewer bangs on him and tell him to leave right away. Now the second man comes. The interviewer asks the same question “Whats the first thing you notice when you enter this room?” “Jesus Christ! You don’t have any ears Sir!!” said the man. The interviewer throws him out too. When the third man is about to enter the second man tells him “Whatever happens don’t talk about his ears, he will kick you out of his room.” The third man enters and the interviewer asks the same question to him that “Whats the first thing you notice on entering this room?” The third man replied “You wear contact lenses Sir, don’t you?” The interviewer get so impressed that he gives him the job and ask the man “How did you notice that?” The man replied “Because you have to have ears to hang your glasses on!” Lol!!

Lunch A Killer

Three construction workers are ready to have their lunch after some real hard work. They are on the 60th floor of a really tall building which is yet to be finished. The first construction worker is an Italian and finds pizza for his lunch. He get really upset and says “If I get this pizza one more time I will jump off this building right away!” The second construction worker was a Chinese and finds rice for his lunch. He very disappointingly says “If I get these rice once more for lunch I will jump off this building right away.” Now the third construction worker which is a blonde opens his lunch and finds a cheese burger. He says “If I find this burger once more I will jump off this building to my death!” All went home and again at the lunch time found same meals so all the three jumped off the building and died. At their funeral the wives of the Italian and the Chinese is crying and regretting that if they would have known they would have packed something else for their lunch but they see that the blonde’s wife is not crying at all. On asking the blonde that why isn’t she crying she answers “Wo! Wo! Don’t look at me like that, he himself packs his lunch!” Lol!!

Peeing On Hands! Lol!!

There was an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy all waiting for their turn one by one to use the urinal in the Men’s bathroom. The accountant did it first. After finishing, he pulled his zipper up went to the wash basin and kept on washing his hands until the foam reached up to his elbows. After using almost half the paper towels present he said “I have graduated from the University of Michigan and they always taught us to stay clean.” Next the lawyer used the urinal, zipped up his pants and went to the wash basin just washing his finger tips using a single paper towel and said ” I have done my graduation from the University of California and they taught us to be Eco-friendly. Now the cowboy went to the urinal, did his thing, pulled his zipper up and went straight to the the exit door saying proudly “I have done my graduation from the Texas Tech University and they taught us not to pee on our hands.” Lol!!