A rep was flying to a sales conference. It was his first experience in an aircraft, so he was a little nervous, but he tried not to let it show. He was very taken with the air hostess, and particularly flattered when she invited him to sit down the back with her. He asked her:

“Do many passengers get airsick?”

“Not many,” she replied. “We usually spot them in advance and give them some sweets to suck.”

“What if that doesn’t work?”

“Oh, maybe we put a blanket over them, or even give them some oxygen.”

“What if it still doesn’t work?”

“Oh, then I bring them down the back to sit with me.”

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

This joke was submitted by Barry.

It was hot and dry and dusty. To make matters ten times worse there was a beer shortage. A rep walked into a bar and ordered a beer.

“Are you an RC?”

“What difference does religion make? All I want is a beer.”

“What I meant was, are you a regular customer?”

The rep admitted that he wasn’t and walked down the street to another pub. Once in the bar he said to the girl:

“I’m an RC, and I want a couple of beers.”

“I don’t care about your religion, but where are your glasses?”

“I don’t wear them.”

The girl was exasperated.

“Beer glasses, mate. Ours were all busted last night in a brawl.”

There was one pub left in the town. When he walked into the bar he spotted two glasses on the window sill. He grabbed them and took them to the bar. The barmaid looked at them.

“What are you trying to do? You’ve had your quota.”

All electrons were in a party. Protons attacked them. A hero saves them. Electrons asked, “Who are you?”. Hero said, “BOND, COVALENT BOND”.

Protons have mass? I didn’t know they were catholic

So a neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink and the bartender says “for you, no charge.

What is the height of Mixed Emotion?
Your Mother-In-Law Falls from 7th Floor on your brand new Mercedes & you don’t know whether to laugh or cry…

This joke was submitted by Sammy.

Flowers die,
Stories end,
Songs fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come 2 end,
But people like u r remembered forever,
Bcoz GHOSTS NEVER DIE

LOL!!!!!

This joke was submitted by Lilian.