Do you drink? Girl’s father asked Santa. Santa says: first tell me whether it’s a question or invitation?

Santa teaching grammar to Banta:
If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!!

Teacher Questions Santa: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?
Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)
Santa: AIR HOSTESS!!!!

Banta asks Santa:
What comes first the chicken or the egg?
Santa Answer: Stupid! Whatever you will order first will come first.

Teacher Asked her students to write an essay on “Cricket Match”
All were busy writing their essay except our intelligent Santa. He wrote:
Due to rain No Match.

Consequences of messing with a doctor.

A husband and wife had a quarrel between them and were giving each other the silent treatment. The same night the husband realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5.00 am.”
The next morning the husband woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed … it said… “It is 5.00am; wake up.”

There is this Saudi who is being interviewed by a consultant in the US Embassy to get visa. The interview between the Sheikh and the consultant is too good to be explained. The Consultant asked What is your name? Sheikh answered Sheikh Abdul-Aziz. Consultant then asked Sex? Sheikh answered Six times a week only. Consultant explained No, no I mean male or female? then Sheikh said “I do with both and camels too.” Consultant quite horrified said “You do!! Holy Cow!!” Sheikh with full confidence said “Oh yes! yes! Cow and dogs too.” Consultant again shocked said “Wow! Man don’t you think its hostile?” Sheikh answered “Yea! Yea every style, dog style, horse style whatever.” Consultant with great sigh said “Oh Deer!” Sheikh with reluctance said “No, no not with deer. They run very fast.” Lol!!!

There is this fireman who’s working at a station house on his fire truck when he notices a little girl beside him with a fireman’s hat and a little red wagon with a small ladder attached to it and the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman walks up to her and asks “What are you doing little girl?” The girl answers “I am playing with my dog. I am the fireman and thats my fire truck run by my dog.” The fireman looks closer to her wagon and notices that the so called fire truck is being tied with the dog’s testicles. The man not knowing what to say to her says “You have a beautiful fire truck, but don’t you think your truck would run faster if you tie it with the neck of your dog?” The little girl replied “Yeah mister, you are right. But then my fire truck would not have a siren.” Lol!!!

There are these three men who are captured by cannibals. Cannibals tell them that “You three will be killed and skinned. Your flesh will be eaten and your skin will be turned into canoes. But I being the chief grant all of you with your last request of your life.” The three desperate are scared that they are gonna be killed but finding no way to escape, the first man requests that “Kill me in the most painless way possible.” So the cannibals poison him making him die a slow and painless death. The second man asks for paper and pen as he wants to write the last loving letter to his family before dying. So the cannibals grant him with that. The third man asks for a fork. Everyone around gets confused that what is he going to do with a fork. However, he is given a fork. The third man takes the fork in his hand pointing toward himself and starts to stab himself badly allover screaming and shouting saying “Go to hell! Now make the canoes out of me!!”