It Hurts!! - Funny Blonde

There is this blonde who goes to a doctor. Doctor asks her “Yes Ma’am, How are you today?” The blonde replies “Doc! everything of me from head to toe is hurting badly.” Doctor puzzled asks her “How can you hurt all over? What do you mean by this?” The blonde then starts to explain the doctor. She touched her legs and said “Ouch! Look my legs hurts.” Then she move further to her ears and touches them and says “Ahh!! My ears hurt too.” Then reaching all from head to toe, she then touches her hairs and says “Doc! See even my hair hurts!! Ouch! Ouch!” Doctor thinking for about couple of minutes looks at her and says “Is your hair naturally blond?” The blonde replies “Yes Doc! Why?” The doctor then tells “Well! Ma’am you have a Broken Finger.” LOL!!

Two Ladies At A Cafeteria

An old lady is sitting in a cafeteria waiting for her coffee. A young lady sitting just behind her is smoking cigarettes continuously. The old lady is getting irritated by her smoke so she turns back and tells the young lady “Lady! I would rather be happy committing adultery then pursuing smoke.” Young lady answers “Oh! Yeah I would too love to commit adultery but the thing is you don’t really get that much time to do that in a coffee break.” Lol!

You Can’t Resist This One!!

Imagine yourself in an era where everything will be automatic. Now you know if everything is gonna be automatic modernization will take power. So there is this man who goes to a modernized fully automatic grocery store. He finds that on which ever aisle he goes it makes that type of sound and smell comes. The man first goes to get a water mister. When he goes to that aisle he hears thundering voices and misty smell of rain water. Then he wants some milk for himself. So he goes to a milk aisle and he hears a voice of a cow mooing and smell of fresh butter. He now goes to get some eggs. On reaching the eggs aisle he hears eggs crackling and delicious smell of fried eggs comes. He is now too scared to get the last thing he want, thinking of what the hell will happen there. That thing is Toilet Paper!! Lol!

When Will Library Open?

There is this man who called a librarian on phone asking “At what time will library get open?” The librarian said “For God’s sake!! You called me at the middle of the night to ask this?? It’s Nine A.M.” The man asked very disappointingly “Not before Nine A.M. Ma’am?” “No, and why do you wanna get in before that?” The man answered “I don’t wanna get in, I wanna get out of it.” Lol!

Selling Brains! Lol!

There is this family in hospital for their dear one who is seriously ill. When the doctor comes after examining him he tell his family members that “There is this brain transplantation to be done. This is a kind of expensive and a very delicate surgery and 50-50 chances are there.” All of them in a very serious note stood quite. One of the relative standing there asked “Well! What’s its cost?” The doctor told “For male brain its $5000 and for female its $200.” The family members little relieved on hearing the price were in a situation mainly the males that nor they could laugh neither they could control because of the woman present there. After few minutes of silence finally one stood up and asked “Doc! Why is there so much of variation.” The doctor smiling a little answered “Well that’s because female brains are quite used.” Lol!!

Best Suggestions One Can Get!

There is this system analyst, a hardware technician and a programmer going together in a car. Suddenly they feel that the brakes have failed and the car is running in full speed down the hill. So the system analyst who is driving the car pulls up the emergency brake, lowers the gear and stops the car somehow thereby handling the situation wisely. Now three of them tries to figure out how to fix this up. The hardware technician suggests “I think we need to fix it up, I will slide under the car and will try and fix the brakes.” The system analyst suggests “I think we should better call an expert who knows how to fix brakes well.” Now the programmer comes up with his suggestion ” Well! I think we should go up again and see if the brakes fail again. What say?” Lol!