The Tradition At Weddings - Funny Joke

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”

His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”

The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”

Are You Really Sure? Funny Joke

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6′5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Knowledge - Time - Money - Funny Joke

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors.” This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two well known postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Since: Knowledge = Power,
then Knowledge = Work / Time,
and Time = Money,
then Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Your Tax Dollars - Funny Joke

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

Indians just use a pencil.

Science Lesson - Funny Joke

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”

Selling War Insurance - Funny Joke

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:

“If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000.”

“Now,” he concluded,” which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?