Imported Sports Car

The work of a certain timid but thorough law clerk was valued for its precision, so soon he was making money to buy himself a nice imported sports car.

Not long afterwards he had the misfortune to get lost in the worst part of town, and when he stopped at a red light a huge, mean he hauled him out of the driver’s seat.

Drawing a circle around him on the pavement, the hoodlum told him not to set foot out of it unless he wanted the shit beat out of him. The delinquent proceeded to demolish the car, starting with the headlights and windows, when he heard the law clerk giggling.

He moved on to the body and engine, but in between crashes he couldn’t help hearing gales of laughter.

Finally, crowbar in hand, he came over to his victim and demanded, “What you laughing about? Your fancy car’s never gonna run again.”

“So?” the clerk gasped helplessly, tears running down his face. “Ever since you started tearing up my car, I’ve been stepping in and out of this circle, in and out, in and out…”

Horrific Accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and
was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began.
I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
I served to the right and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”

Funny Grandma Kitchen

A young girl was cooking a roast and cut the ends off of it and her husband told her she needs to leave it on as he thought it was the best part.

She told him that the roast wouldn’t come out perfect if she didn’t do it the way her Grandmother cooked it.

She had her family over for dinner and when the young woman put the roast on the table she told her Grandmother she hoped she made it like she always did?

Her Grandmother said “it was good but wondered why the ends where cut?”

The girl stated “that was the way she always seen her make it!”

The Grandmother said “child that was to make the roast fit into the pan”.

Funny Junk