Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”

A little old lady was driving along the road (relatively quickly) when a police car pulled her over. The passenger of the police car got out and walked over to her window, to tell her she was driving too fast.
“Excuse me, Ma’am,” he said, “but you’re over the speed limit. Can I see yourdrivers’ licence?”
“Don’t have one.” She replied.
“I see…well, I’ll have to take you down to the police station then.”
“Sorry,” she apologized, “but I’ve got a body in the boot and five bags of crack that needs delivering. I really don’t have much time.”Amazed and slightly worried, the officer called on his senior to investigate,
before sitting in front of the wheel in case the old lady decided to drive off suddenly. The officer walked toward the old lady to ask the problem.
“Excuse me, Ma’am,” she said, “but my partner said you don’t have a license, have a body in the back and five bags of crack you need to deliver. Mind if I check it out?”
“Not at all, Miss.” The little old lady replied. After investigating the entire car,the officer came up empty handed and walked to the front.
“I can’t find any body, or any drugs. Can I see your license?”
“Sure,” said the old lady, offering her license. “And I bet your partner thought I was speeding, too.”

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, “Not only did I get the job, I’m already working on a murder case!”