Funny St Patricks Day Sayings

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

St. Patrick: one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.
_Charles M. Madigan

In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
_Stephen Braveheart

The reason the Irish are always fighting each other is they have no other worthy opponents.

Every St. Patrick’s Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
_Shane Leslie

Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping-or attaches the name of St. Patrick to the day of the year that bartenders fear most.
_Jon Anderson

I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.
_George Bernard Shaw

Funny Cute Love Sayings

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
_Agatha Christie

Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
_Franklin P. Jones

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
_Oscar Wilde

Don’t forget to love yourself.

Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-Jeanne Moreau

Lovers, like bees, lead a honey-sweet life.

Where there is love there is life.
_Mahatma Gandhi

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman!
_Maryon Pearson

You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
_Melanie Clark

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
_Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
_Woodrow Wyatt

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
_Tom Robbins

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

Funny Abraham Lincoln Sayings

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master This expresses my idea of democracy.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

That some should be rich shows that others may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and enterprise.

I don’t know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned
to know who his grandson will be.

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Everything I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships.

I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to men.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book.

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend
is the man who’ll get me a book I ain’t read.

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.

I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back.

I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.

I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him

He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just - that all
men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel
there is a hero that for every enemy there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick.

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?

Things may come to those who wait. But only the things left by those who hustle.

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go

Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and loss of self-control.

Funny Cricket Sayings

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
- Robin Williams

I bowl my best when I’m fittest and the best way to get fit is to bowl. That’s how you get your rhythm. You can’t really find a rhythm by bowling in the nets.
- Brett Lee

Cricket civilizes people and creates good gentlemen I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe; I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen.
- Robert Mugabe

The gap between bat and pad is so wide you could have driven a car through.
- Sidhu

Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
- Sidhu

Sachin Tendulkar is the hardest batsman I’ve ever had to bowl to because he judges the length a lot quicker than anyone else.
- Shane Warne

That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
- Sidhu

The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
- Sidhu

Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
- Sidhu

Funny College Sayings

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong.

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Funny Teamwork Sayings

In union there is strength.

Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable.

Teamwork divides the task and multiplies the success.

We must all hang together or most assuredly we shall hang separately.

Many hands make light work.

Sure there’s no “I” in “team,” but there is a “ME”!

Team means Together Everyone Achieves More!

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

Funny Retirement Sayings

Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension.

Retired Life is the Autumn of Life.

Everything old is new again.

I’m so busy now, how did I ever find the time to work 8 hours a day.