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Do you drink? Girl’s father asked Santa. Santa says: first tell me whether it’s a question or invitation?

Santa teaching grammar to Banta:
If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!!

Teacher Questions Santa: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?
Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)
Santa: AIR HOSTESS!!!!

Banta asks Santa:
What comes first the chicken or the egg?
Santa Answer: Stupid! Whatever you will order first will come first.

Teacher Asked her students to write an essay on “Cricket Match”
All were busy writing their essay except our intelligent Santa. He wrote:
Due to rain No Match.

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Hello World

Thought I would come and drop off a note here. I’ll be vlogging tonight hopefully, I don’t seem to have much to do tonight, except for the dishes of course

I’ve been keeping up on Twitter more, I’m kinda enjoying the community and I think it’s a great way to meet new people and have a bit of craic. I downloaded a program called “Spaz” (yes I’m aware that it’s not exactly politically correct) from here which I love, love, love XD it makes life a lot easier and updates you with happy little noises when there’s a new Tweet posted in your stream.

I’m attempting to keep my Tweet language clean as they’re posted on here too and the boy can’t read this in work if there’s swearing on the page hehehe, though I can always do it our of badness to keep him off it, but I’m not that mean.

Heading off to America next Friday. I asked for hints and tips on beating jet lag, but it seems that everyone’s advise is the same and it isn’t something I can use. Everyone has suggested adjusting my body to the timezone I’m heading to by going to bed an hour closer to the foreign time each evening. Unfortunately I work set hours (9.30am – 6pm leaving the house at 7.40am) up until the day I leave and therefore cannot go to bed at 5am LOL. I am however, going to stay up through the night before I go away. I’ll be leaving at 5am on Friday morning to get to Dublin airport and get checked in for my flight. My wonderful housemate is taking the Friday off so she can stay up on Thursday night and keep me company

Hopefully this means I’ll manage to sleep some on the plane (highly unlikely) and the 8 hours in the air will fly by :S. I’m in the process of setting up my “I’m abroad” blog at the moment, I’ll make sure it’s well linked from here and all the social sites and I’ll be keeping my vlog up to date as well.

I paused for a break from this for a second there, and the guys in my office are trying to convince me that the calender we should get should be one with semi-naked women on it. They aren’t winning the battle and it looks like Futurama might well pull through LOL.

Right, I gots ta go, I’ll try and think of a suitable topic of conversation (or rant for that matter) for this evening. We’ll have to find something that’ll amuse you folks ;)

Have fun everyone! ♥

me

P.S. I just noticed that I was being accused of being a potty mouth because of Brian not being able to access my blog in work. I have just realised however, that it is my accusee that is swearing and causing his own lock out! So Brian, if you can read this *razzzzzzzzzz*

teehee

*mwas*

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I stayed up too late on New Year’s Eve. So yesterday I actually slept in late. Never happens, but it did on New Year’s Day. In my young year’s I would have been devastated. Every New Year’s Day meant watching the Rose Bowl Parade from start to finish. I will swear it was on earlier in those days. My day was completely different this year. Very laid back. Stretch warmed up the turkey meatball soup for lunch. I am telling you, it was even more wonderful. It is perfect for a cold winter day. So full of flavor and sticks to your innards. Yummmm! I think I would miss the four seasons if I moved somewhere warmer. I like cuddling up with a blankie and watching movies. I like the fact that a hard freeze kills off the mold spores so I can breathe freely. I like the snow. Well, it won’t be happening any time soon.
After lunch I took my friend Tatjana and two of her grandsons to see The Tale of Desperaux. It was wonderful. I love all things Kate di Camillo. She is a wonderful author. The movie is a little different but wonderful on it’s own. Not only is the animation beyond wonderful, but there are so many really artistic touches. There is a character in the movie (not in the book) that reminded me of artist Giuseppe Arcimboldo his vegetable portraits.It was maybe not the same, but there was definitely some influence. He was a lovely and fun character in the movie. It is a definite must see movie.

And just for good luck I did make up the Black Eyed Pea salsa that Pioneer Woman was talking about. It was very good. I paired it up with her Olive Cheese Bread and a salad. And Stretch liked it! He enjoyed the different tastes and most especially the textures. Maybe this cooking thing might work. I should have taken some photos, but I was hungry and it was good.

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Required: 6 to 10 scouts
Notes: Make sure you practice so the Beeeeeps start and stop when they should and so that the punch line does not drag on too long.
Script: All scouts but one stand in line. Lead scout is in front or to one side.
Leader: For the next ten seconds we wil conduct a test of the emergency broadcast system.
(line of scouts all make Beeeeeeeeeeep sound until the leader raises his hand.)
Leader: Thank you. This concludes the test of the emergency broadcast system. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have heard…
(line of scouts scream in panic and run around)

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Required: Leader (the victim)
4 to 10 scouts
A trophy
materials for simple costumes for dracula, mummy, werewolf would be a plus.
Preparation: Give the trophy to the unsuspecting Leader telling him that you’ll ask him to present it to the scout after this skit.
Have BILLY the brave scout sitting in the audience.
Have all the other scouts offstage.
Script: MC: Scouts, Parents, and Guests – welcome. We have with us today a very special scout. Billy, please come up here. This young man has proven his bravery through trials and challenges most of us would never dream of let alone live through.
Billy is afraid of nothing! He has traveled through Transylvania during a full moon, camped out alone in a cemetery, and even kissed a girl once!

MC: I’m sure some of you probably don’t believe anyone could be so brave so I’ve rounded up some of the most gruesome monsters that have ever walked the face of the earth. Billy will demonstrate his bravery for you.

MC: Here comes DRACULA – a blood-thirsty fiend from the old country!
(Dracula glides up to Billy and raises his arms about to attack.)
(Billy smiles and shakes his hand.)
(Dracula dejectedly shuffles off behind Billy while werewolf is coming on.)
MC: And now, a foul werewolf from England – a ferocious beast of the night!
(Werewolf charges in, growling and clawing the air.)
(Billy yawns as he looks at the werewolf.)
(werewolf whimpers away behind Billy as mummy comes in.)
MC: The mummy! an undead creature from Egypt!
(Mummy walks in with arms straight ahead, groaning and mumbling.)
(Billy checks his wristwatch and looks bored.)
(mummy shuffles away as next monster comes in.)

You can use zombie, King Kong, Gollum, … but Billy is friendly or bored with them all.
Finally all the monsters are gathered behind Billy.

MC: As you can see, nothing scares this bravest of scouts, not even the most hideous monsters of the world. And, to recognize Billy’s bravery, our leader, Mr. ______, will now present him with a small trophy. Good job, Billy!

(Billy needs to keep looking out at the audience and smiling. As the leader gets close to him and holds out the trophy, Billy turns from the audience to look at him. Then with a terrified look on his face he runs away from the leader screaming. All the monsters and MC also run away yelling, screaming, and moaning as they leave the stage.)

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