A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer’s going to come back here pretty mad”, he said to his boss. Should I give him his money back? Money back? Roared the boss. What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.

A blonde girl after coming from the school, her mom asks “what did you learn today?”
The blonde girl answers ” Well we learned counting today and I could count till 20 while other could count only till ten.” and then she question her mom that “Is that because I am blonde?”
To which her mom replies “Surely yes, because you’re blonde.”
The other day again after coming back from school her mommy asks “What did you learn today?”
The blonde girl answers that ” We learned ABC today I could say till “R” while other could say only till “K”.”
and then the blonde girl asks that “Is that because I am blonde mom?”
Her mother answers “Yes because you are blonde.”
The next day the blonde girl tell her mom that “today we had gym classes and I noticed that no other girl had breasts except me having C cups.” and asks “Is that because I am blonde Mom? ” To which her mom replies “No dear it’s because you are 22.”

A Russian, American and a Blonde were having a talk with each other.
A Russian stood up and said ” We were the first one to land on Space ”
An American to show his proud stood up and said ” We were the first one to land on Moon. ”
To which the Blonde said ” So what!!! We are going to be the first ones to land on the Sun ”
Listening to the Blonde both started laughing ” You Such an Idiot ” – said the American ” You’ll burn if you land on sun. Don’t you know that? – said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied ” You idiots we know it that’s why were going to land at night “

A Scotsman went to his bedroom with a sheep and says..
“Sweetheart that’s the cow to whom I make love with when you get a headache”
The wife lying on the bed reading her book looks upto his husband and says” well if you’d have little brains you would know that that’s the sheep you making love to.”
The husband looks back to her and says ” If you weren’t that idiot then you would have realized that I was talking to the sheep.”

A gorgeous looking rich married couple were having a rich dinner at a well known restaurant when a beautiful, immaculately dressed stunning woman kissed the lady’s husband and tells him that “I will see you later.” The wife outrageous in anger asks him that ” What was that?!!!” The husband politely answers that “she was my mistress”. Wife completely shocked says ” that’s it! I want a divorce now!!!” The Husband replies her” That I completely understand” and adds further ” But then remember that there wont be any more shopping in Paris, no Infinity or Lexus in the garage, no spending of vacation in Hawaii and no more country clubs.” While they were talking one of their mutual friend entered with a beautiful gorgeous woman. “Who’s she with Jimmy?” she asks. Her husband replies ” That she is Jimmy’s Mistress. To which the wife says that ” Ours is prettier than his.”

The smoke detector industry is covering up research showing more people are injured every year falling from ladders and stepstools while trying to replace smoke detector batteries than are injured in house fires.