Kiss for a yard

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

“Only a kiss a yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk.

Boy Scouts

Boy Scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up. They are coming after us with flashlights.”

‘ S-T-U-D ‘

Brian, a “cool” teenage boy continually challenges his conservative father by, wanting to have his ears pierced or his hair dyed. “Dad,” he asked, “Would it be okay if I had S-T-U-D shaved in the back of my head?”

“Sure,” came his Father’s quick reply. “But only if you add a Y to it.”

Make her Happy

In the world of romance, one single rule applies Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects — Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Opinions

These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.

A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “What’s a shortage?”

The Russian says, “What’s meat?”

The North Korean says, “What’s an opinion?”

The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me?? What’s excuse me?”

Military Etiquette

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?

Soldier: Sure, buddy.

Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again.

Soldier: Do you have change for a dollar?

Soldier: No, SIR!