Yo mama is so hairy - Funny Joke

Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Yo mama is so ugly - Funny Joke

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower

Yo mama so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!

Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her!

Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo Mama So Fat

Yo mama’s so fat, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a scale, and it said “One at a time please”

Yo mama’s so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said “To be continued”

Yo mama’s so fat, she has to put on her lipstick with a paint roller.

Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing “We are Family”

Yo mama’s so fat, she sat on a gamecube, and made it a gameboy advance

Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears a yellow rain coat, people yell “taxi!”

Yo mama’s so fat, she had to iron her pants in the driveway.

Stupid Yo Mama

I told her drinks were on the house…so she went and got a ladder…

She make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

She noticed a sign reading ‘Wet Floor’…so she just did!

It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

She asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

She got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

She sold her Car for Petrol cash!

She reckoned a Quarterback was a refund…

She once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.

She took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.

I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

It took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.

She invented a silent car alarm.

She watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.

She was born on Halloween and can’t remember her birthday.

She thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.

She lost her shadow.

She thought Hot Meals were stolen food.She make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.

When I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me…’Which colour?’

Yo Mama Jokes

When she step on the Weight Scales it says…’to be continued’…

She once went on a seafood diet…whenever she saw food she ate it!

Folk exercise by jogging around her!

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

She was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm…

small objects orbit her.

She could be the eighth continent.

Her university graduation photo was an aerial

She shows up on radar.

Her Passport photo says ‘Picture is continued overleaf’

She was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

She once told me ‘I could eat a horse’…believe me, she wasn’t kidding!

yo mamas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on da scales!

Yo Mama has 10 Fingers

Has 10 fingers — all on the same hand.

Has green hair and thinks she’s a Tree.

Has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns.

Has one short leg and that why she always walking in circles…

Has a major weight problem - she can’t wait…to eat.

Got a glass eye with a fish in it.

Got so much dandruff that a Midge landed on her head and said: “Christ, I aint’ seen this much snow in years.”