The first is Smurf Sex – This happens during the honeymoon period of a relationship, you keep doing it and doing it, until you’re blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex – This is at the beginning of your marriage, you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, anyplace, even in the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex – You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps you have had some kids, so you have to do it in the bedroom. The fourth kind is

Hallway Sex – This is where you pass each other in the hallway, look each other in the eye and say, ‘F@CK YOU!’