I told her drinks were on the house…so she went and got a ladder…

She make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

She noticed a sign reading ‘Wet Floor’…so she just did!

It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

She asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

She got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

She sold her Car for Petrol cash!

She reckoned a Quarterback was a refund…

She once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.

She took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.

I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

It took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.

She invented a silent car alarm.

She watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.

She was born on Halloween and can’t remember her birthday.

She thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.

She lost her shadow.

She thought Hot Meals were stolen food.She make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.

When I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me…’Which colour?’